Filthy Cow, Manchester

I love burgers. They are one of the things that bring little pieces of joy to my life. Granted, I'm generally rubbish at finishing a full one and I usually end up wearing them. Little disappoints me more than a terrible burger. Luckily for me, Manchester is still in the swing of a full on burger takeover. Whilst some have been critical of the ever expanding scene, I am quite happy to celebrate it in all its beefy glory.

Burger feet

I'm not into the silly ones (I'm looking at you doughnut burger), and I can take or leave the witty names; but I do love a meaty, pink burger that oozes juice down my fingers. I even have burger trainers. Loser.

I love getting our friends' perspectives on new restaurants. I dread to think how many burgers I have eaten in different cities around the world... I home in on them like some sort of sniffer dog. I sometimes worry that my love for burgers makes me a little biased when sampling new ones, so it's always good to get fresh tastebuds in on the game. So to the newest calf on the block, Filthy Cow.

We were greeted by a delightful blonde lady who suggested that we may want to make ourselves at home in the nice booth upstairs (complete with neon pink S&M cow) and quickly ran through the ordering process. The rest of the decor can only be described as bovine themed cheekiness, and we did wonder how long it's going to take for someone to get stuck in those handcuffs... I'm just glad it wasn't one of my lot... My money's on two weeks, max.

It's kind of a fast food vibe similar to Five Guys. You place your order downstairs at the counter, but are given a little buzzer which informs you when your food is ready. It was fairly quiet when we went so they brought ours up for us. They serve half decent booze too. Although the choice is limited, what they do have is not bad at all. The boys had the Pale Ale from Runaway Brewery, and us ladies had a few Pinot Grigios. The only odd thing? They came served in a tumbler - we weren't sure how we felt about this, but drank them all the same!

Although the food arrives wrapped in waxed paper on a tray, the service is attentive and they do provide decent disposable cutlery for folk who fear picking up a burger like my homie Lee...

We ordered a Filthy Cheese, which is a standard burger rammed with beef, salad, 'filthy' sauce and cheese, two Filthy Beasts (one plain for my salad hating husband) which is basically the same as the cheese burger but with bacon, and one of the specials, which was a pork and chorizo version of the Beast. We also sampled the fries, onion rings and coleslaw.

The burgers needed that reassuring squeeze to flatten them into an edible state, but were not so tall that this became mission impossible. At £7.50 the Beast is an absolute bargain. Remember when Burger King's Bacon Double Cheeseburgers were actually good (or you were at least too young to know better)? It took me back to my days of pink hair and piercings when these were my staple diet because my boyfriend worked there. Either way, these burgers are a little piece of happiness in my humble opinion.

The sides are no afterthought either. The chips were crispy and deliciously salty, the onion rings were firm on the outside and soft on the inside (armadillo) and the coleslaw was crunchy without so much onion that you would knock your friends over with the potency. For the first time in ages I ate everything in front of me. Gone. I was pretty proud and disgusted with myself, all in one go.

Desserts are simple yet effective. Our options were a brownie or a choice of Ginger's Comfort Emporium ice creams (go and check her out in Affleck's Palace). I'm a big fan of that Ginger one, so opted for the ice cream. Poor Phil was dying to try the salted caramel and peanut butter milkshake, but they didn't have enough of the ice cream left - bad times. Who ate all the ice cream dammit?

I tried all three that we ordered - research. I think my own was my favourite though; the simple golden syrup. There's no milk powder, fillers or muck in these pots of delight.

I'd had a little Twitter chat with these guys prior to our visit, so had already warmed to them. However, I didn't expect to love it quite so much. They might be a bit cheeky, but in reality the staff were very sweet, and the food was cracking. Less than a tenner for a proper burger and fries in the city centre is not half bad. We weren't mad keen on having to order downstairs at first, and there were lots of suggestions around tweeting orders to the kitchen etc, but you know what? It just works for them. Plus, we sent the boys down to order so it didn't affect us...

Yes it's another burger gaff. Owner Jordan's done her homework and is keeping it simple. If you want some fancy shmancy, mile high, cleverly concocted recipe, stick with the likes of Almost Famous and Solita as they have their own place in the Manchester burger scene. Fancy a quick bite without breaking the bank? Head to Filthy Cow.


Like burgers as much as I do? Check out my other burger posts...